I’m a 50-something mom of two teens and daughter of a 90-something dad (the late-bloomer gene runs strong in my family). So caregiving is a hot topic for me (and my sisters, and about 53 million other unpaid family caregivers). Specifically, I worry about the sometimes astronomical cost of caring for aging loved ones. 

And while both presidential candidates spoke of family caregiver support in their platforms, the candidate who got the job has yet to unveil a plan. And this article on rollcall.com notes that a lot of our elected officials don’t see the caregiver crisis as one that needs to be urgently addressed. Are you kidding me? Have they not read about our growing aging population and the health care shortage? I read about it almost every day. And it doesn’t look pretty.

The Caregiving Landscape

The percentage of Americans over 60 is exploding, with the last of the baby boomers approaching retirement age. And that percentage will continue to grow for at least the next 30 years as the percentage of Americans under 18 shrinks.

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Meanwhile, our care economy is imploding. Low pay, limited benefits, and restrictive immigration policies have led to a shortage of care workers. And that reduced labor force, in turn, is driving elder care costs up. So who do our policymakers think will care for America’s older adults? Who do they think will care for us?

Before I answer that question, let’s take a look at what a caregiver does.

Caregiving responsibilities are vast and varied. And they change as our family members age. For this reason, some of us become family caregivers so gradually that we don’t even realize that this is what we are.

We may start out helping a parent keep their doctor appointments straight and running errands for them. Then one day, we find that we have to take them to their doctor appointments. Then we start sitting in on those appointments and taking notes to make sure the doctors’ orders are being followed.

Soon, we’re setting up pill organizers, doing the housekeeping, and bringing meals over. A lot of these tasks can be done in our free time after work and on the weekends. But the doctor's appointments can take us away from work, assuming our employer has flexible work policies. And the gas costs for all of the errands start to add up.

Other times, a health event or accident makes us a caregiver all of a sudden. A fall, an illness, or an operation might thrust us into our new role, where we find ourselves having to help with activities of daily living (ADLs), like dressing, bathing, toileting, feeding, transferring from bed to chair, and more.

In this situation, our loved one needs someone with them all day every day, and sometimes all night, too. If we’re that someone, we’re leaving our jobs, either temporarily or for good. 

In the absence of a working care infrastructure for our aging population, I can only assume that most of our policymakers feel that the many responsibilities and/or expenses of care should fall solely on unpaid family members. It’s every family for themselves. 

The Financial Strain on Family Caregivers

In 2025, the average base room and board for an individual at an assisted living facility is about $5,676/month. Costs for any additional services, such as help with ADLs, medication assistance, memory care, and the like start to add up fast—to the tune of hundreds or even thousands of additional dollars per month.

At this rate, even older adults who have built up a tidy nest egg can blow through their savings and assets in just a few years. And a few years might not be enough. We’re living longer, but we’re spending more years with expensive health issues. 

What about long term care insurance (LTCI), you ask? It’s great, for the 3% of Americans who have a policy. And again, those policies only pay benefits for a limited time, usually 2-6 years. After that, all of those fees are paid out of pocket—either our loved ones’ or ours. 

To save money, many older adults are choosing instead to remain in the homes they love or move in with a younger adult family member, often a child (most often, a daughter).

Since professional caregivers are in short supply, many families are either cobbling together a combination of professional caregivers and unpaid family caregivers to provide the support our loved ones need, or shouldering all of the care ourselves. 

On average, family members who care for an aging loved one are spending over $7,000 of our own money to provide this care. Every year. That’s $7,000 a year that’s coming out of the budgets that keep our families afloat. Or it’s coming out of our savings for our own care needs after we retire. 

Factor in lost wages due to unpaid family leave (only 11 states plus Washington DC offer paid family leave programs), or lost jobs due to full-time care responsibilities, and that $7,000 hit hurts even more.

Plus, it's hard to make up for that lost income once we’re able to return to work. Because the employment gap often results in lower salaries. And remember, while we're unemployed, we're not contributing to our 401(k)s or social security. So our own retirement finances are impacted.

What does all this mean? Well, a lot of us don’t have extra money lying around to pay for our own long-term care insurance policies. Which, in turn, ensures this cycle of financial hardship will be passed down to our kids—or nieces or nephews—when we need care.

We need to break this cycle!

A Call to Action for the Next Two Years

Things looked hopeful for unpaid caregivers in 2022, when the Biden administration released the National Strategy to Support Family Caregivers. But most of Biden's caregiving agenda was pulled out by Congress, thanks to strong lobbying by business-focused groups that didn’t want their corporate taxes raised to cover the cost of supporting caregivers.

The good news is that the sheer number of family caregivers (53 million, remember?) is enough to wield huge influence on Capitol Hill and in State Houses across the country. I, for one, am already reaching out to all of my elected officials to ask them to take meaningful actions to help solve the caregiver crisis. I urge other family caregivers to do the same. 

If you, too, would like to advocate for family caregivers, you can  find the names and contact info of your elected officials at www.usa.gov/elected-officials. Email them. Call them. Share your personal story with them. And ask your candidates about the initiatives they’ll propose to support ALL family caregivers.

For example: Paid family leave in every state (only about a dozen states offer this currently), Medicare payments to family caregivers (currently only Medicaid and VA offer this), family caregiver tax credits (like the child tax credit, but for aging relatives).

The solutions are out there. Which ones will they work hard to enact? Keep hounding them until they share their plan and start to put it in motion. The midterms are only two years away. Let them know that there are 53 million family caregivers in the country—most of voting age—who are keeping our health system afloat. We expect our leaders to make solutions to the care crisis a top priority. And if they don’t we’ll support candidates who will.

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At RubyWell, we’re paving a path to financial stability for all family caregivers. Our Family Leave Finder provides state-by-sate info on family leave laws. And we just launched a pilot in Pennsylvania to evaluate our program that helps family caregivers get trained and paid for the care they provide. You take a short quiz to find out if you’re eligible. Or, tell us which state you’d like us to bring our family caregiver compensation program to next.

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